My dog died last week.
We adopted a month old Toby (a.k.a. the esteemed Tobias Rex Prendergast) and he lived until his 15th birthday (nearly to the day). He was a beautiful collie cross (with what we don’t know) with a playful temperament. He was the perfect dog. He was quiet but full of personality, affectionate but not slobberly and just loved to be with people.
Toby was with me through some of the best and worst times of my life. To my friends who did not have a dog, I always described having him in the house as like having a really positive person with you at all times.
Toby had an operation last January and over the past two years, his age began to show for the first time. Since I moved out which was two and a half years ago, I noticed subtle changes every time I went home. Somewhere during this time, I realised that he wasn’t going to be around for ever and I made a decision that I has really helped me this week.
I decided that every time I saw him, I would make an effort to appreciate him for who he was. I would always spend time with him, walk him and just enjoy being around him. I would try to visit every week and while I was there, I would savour the time we had together. This could be 5 minutes or 5 hours.
It probably sounds like a strange thing to do, but I found myself being more present with him and I was happy with this.
Last week, when my dad called to say Toby had died, I felt a wash of grief. I excused myself from work and cried. And then I cried more. And a little more.
Along with the grief, there was a very strange feeling. Happiness. I was so happy that I had spent the time with him in the way I did for the past few months.
Toby collapsed outside our house and my dad carried him into the porch where he died peacefully. I was happy about this too in a weird way! He didn’t suffer, he was with my dad and he died where we spent hours sitting together.
It’s such a strange feeling, but the happiness has been really helpful over the past few days. I am so grateful that I made a conscious effort just to enjoy his company for the last while. I am grateful that I really dedicated time to him.
I always thought when he passed away that I would need to take time off work to deal with the grief, but I actually felt ok this week. I am so comforted by the time we had together.
This week has really made me think about how this could apply to other aspects of my life. Generally speaking I am grateful for the life I live, which I feel is very privileged. I have good friends and family and I love my job.
I can’t help but wonder if I was to apply the same effort of being present to my everyday life that I did to Toby, would I be better at coping when things don’t work out in the future?
I can’t really be sure on this, but I definitely think I am going to try.
I will miss my dog, my companion, my best friend. I am so grateful for all that he gave me.
I probably own entirely too many shoes. Probably.
From an early age I remember loving heels and as soon as I began working I started my collection.
My first pair of heels were a pointy toe pair with a heart cut out and ankle strap. Not exactly the most demure choice.
My latest purchase are pointed yellow mules from ASOS. (I have a suspicion that this particular pair might be divisive.)
I’ve been feeling a bit boring with my wardrobe of late, and these were an attempt to get out of my comfort zone (not that I would associate any of my shoe choices with comfort!).
These shoes are available on ASOS (quel suprise) and are currently on sale.
What are your favorite bright heels?
Learning to layer is a essential part of developing a versatile wardrobe. For me, this skill remains a work in progress.
With this outfit, I have taken some basic pieces and layered them together to balance light and dark.
This skater skirt, is without question, my favorite skirt in my collection. It fits my waist perfectly and it hides a multitude. The length is feminine and the fit is fun.
Coat,Skirt, Necklace, Top | H&M, Boots | Boohoo.com,
How do you layer your outfits?
You can’t beat a good skater skirt, they’re fun, flirty and feminine!
If you have read some of my earlier posts, you may have noticed that H&M features regularly. The reason for this is I find H&M clothing seems to fit perfectly. I am not the tallest of people at 5.2 and their pieces really work for me.
This is an example of a typical Saturday outfit for me. Casual and relaxed, but still, in my opinion, polished.
What is your go-to casual look?
‘…it will make or break him so he’s got to buy the best…cuz he’s a dedicated follower of fashion’ – The Kinks
I love a good documentary, especially when I can live vicariously through its subjects! Below are a few of my favorite fashion documentaries that are a must watch for anyone interested in fashion.
Opulence. That for me is the perfect word to describe Scatter My Ashes At Bergdorf’s. This documentary tells the history of New York’s iconic store and looks at the preparation that goes into making the famous Christmas window display.
I absolutely love this documentary and its something I will watch again and again.
The September issue of Vogue is renowned for being the most highly anticipated of the year. This documentary focuses at Vogue with an up close and personal look at Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington’s relationship working at the magazine.
This documentary is a must watch for anyone interested in the industry’s most respected publication.
A must see documentary looking at Raf Simons journey as artistic director of Dior. This intimate piece is a masterclass in behind the scenes and provides an honest look at the less glamorous parts of fashion.
Next on my list to see is Crazy About Tiffanys.
Tiffany’s is one of my favorite brands and I was lucky enough to receive my first Tiffany’s necklace 2 years ago. To me, the brand is the epitome of elegance and luxury. This documentary looks like it might be my next favorite movie!
What are your favorite fashion flicks?